Grief Support

Commonly Asked Questions About Grief Support

Q: What exactly is a grief support group?

A: A grief support group is a meeting for people who have experienced the death of a loved one. It’s an opportunity to talk with a group of people who are likely to understand, because they themselves have been there. Often, participants describe a grief support group as a “safe place,” a place where people who have experienced significant losses can tell their stories as often as they need to, knowing that those stories will be respected and held in strictest confidence by everyone. Groups provided by Hospice & Palliative Care of Northeastern Illinois are led by professional facilitators.

Q: What happens in a grief support group?

A: Generally, the leader, or facilitator, of the group will start by describing the guidelines of the group. For example, reminding the group that all discussion is confidential. Often, you have a chance to introduce yourself and tell as much or as little of your story as you wish. An open discussion period is usually included, and some groups also include educational input by the facilitator.

Q: Who runs a grief support group?

A: HPNI Grief Support Groups are led by licensed professional counselors. The role of the facilitator is to inform, educate and help create a safe environment to allow participants to process their feelings and learn coping skills. While a professional facilitator may provide some information on the grieving process, valuable input also comes from the group members themselves as they share their stories and experiences.

Q: Why might a support group be helpful?

A: People who attend support groups find them helpful in three basic ways.

• They are able to connect with people who have had a similar experience and therefore are better able to understand.
• Participants can talk about their experience long after others have stopped listening.
• They can discover healthy ways to manage their grief and learn coping skills

Q: How do I choose a support group?

A: Most important in choosing a support group is finding one that is comfortable for you. Many group members say they specifically look for a group that meets two criteria:

• a facilitator is knowledgeable about grief and running a support group
• other group members with whom they can identify (for example, widows or widowers, or others who have lost a parent or child).

Q. How can I help someone who is grieving?

A. There are many ways you can help:

• Make contact. Make a phone call, send a card, attend the funeral, bake and deliver cookies.
• Provide practical help. Decide on a task you can help with and make the offer.
• Be available and accepting. Accept the words and feelings expressed and avoid telling them how they should feel or what they should do.
• Be a good listener. Many in grief need to talk about their loss; the person, related events, and their reactions. Allow grievers to tell their stories and express their feelings.
• Exercise patience. Give bereaved people “permission” to grieve for as long or short a time as needed.
• Encourage self-care. Encourage bereaved people to attend to physical needs, postpone major decisions, allow themselves to grieve and to recover.