Trustee Gets to Witness Campers’ Courage

by Tony Solano, Barrington Courier Review, Aug. 2, 2011

Every summer, more than 40 local children who have lost a loved one are treated to a carefree week to forget their troubles when they attended Camp Courage, sponsored by Hospice & Palliative Care of Northeastern Illinois.

Barrington Trustee Beth Raseman, Hospice’s vice president of development, has been raising money to allow children age five through 16 to attend the free camp for eight years. This year, she experienced Camp Courage first-hand, volunteering as a counselor. Raseman said it was a life-changing experience.

“There were kids who lost siblings, kids who lost parents, aunts and uncles or grandparents,” Raseman said.

Raseman was one of the counselors for a group of eight children ages 7 and 8. Camp Courage was held July 11-15 at Camp Duncan in Ingleside. It is intended to be a way for children to process the grief of losing a loved one while having fun in a healing environment.

The highlights for Raseman, as well as many of the campers, were swimming in the pool and games such as “sharks and lifeguards.”

“I have a lot of grass stains on my shorts from that,” Raseman said.

Other activities were more serious, such as campers creating a box filled with memories of the loved one whom they lost, creating their own “Game of Life” board game and a wishing well activity where campers wrote down something they wish they could tell their deceased loved one.

“You just keep being amazed at what goes on in these kids’ heads,” she said.

The point of the activities is to help the children as they work through the emotions associated with grieving and show them how they can get themselves to a better place, Raseman said. She added that one of the most important messages of the camp is to let campers know that the grief they’re feeling is natural and that it’s OK to feel that way.

“These kids really need to be friends with other people who have experienced loss, because otherwise they feel like they’re the only one,” Raseman said. In addition, many of the volunteer camp counselors were former campers who have grown up and wanted to help others heal.

Another informative activities was an “ask the doctor” session where the children could ask medical questions. Many had questions like “Can a baby be born with cancer?” or “If my dad had cancer does that mean I’m going to get it?” The innocent inquiries were all too familiar for Raseman.

“I went through that in my own family,” Raseman said. “My dad died in his 50s and you wonder if you’re more at risk for something.”

While participating in the wishing well activity, Raseman teared up as she was writing about her father.

“The kids were like, ‘Your dad died a long time ago,’ and I said, ‘Yeah, but I still miss him,’” Raseman said.

Hospice bereavement counselors were on hand and many of the campers are continuing to participate in group or individual bereavement counseling following the camp. Raseman said she got close with many of the campers and it’s been difficult to adjust to life without them following the experience.

“You get really close to the kids during that week and now I’m wondering how they’re doing and how their family’s doing,” she said.

It costs about $35,000 for Hospice to put on Camp Courage for free every year and Raseman said she is excited to be able to share personal, first-hand stories of the amazing impact the camp has on grieving children when raising money to fund next year’s camp.

And the lessons about grief, love and support were not just absorbed by the campers; Raseman came away from Camp Courage with a new outlook on certain aspects of life as well. She said she now realizes the importance of listening and not giving people too much space when they are going through a rough time.

“Sometimes we ask the question, ‘How are you doing?’ and the person says, ‘Fine’ and we leave it alone,” she said. “There’s a lot locked up in people. If you work with the right person who can get people to express themselves, they can unlock a lot of stuff and help you.”

For more information on Camp Courage and other Hospice services visit http://www.hospiceanswers.org